Thursday, October 1, 2009

Single woes

They say the pasture is always greener on the other side. When I made the decision to be single, I was happy because the relationship was getting no where. Life being single is great, no denies about that. At the same time, I have to admit that I do feel lonely at times. The loneliness crept it at times when I am most busy, contradicting? I don't feel I'm ready to commit into a relationship yet, but honestly, I don't know what is this unknow fear I'm feeling. I kept having this mindset that I need to have a little career achievement or financial breakthrough before I start dating. I don't know how or why I place such limits on myself? Perhaps my values on wanting to be self-reliant and independent is inherent. To tell the truth, deep down, I am still a girl who yearns for the warmth and protection of a man. At the same time, I want to have some balance, to be able to live independently.

I am not that alpha female that people think I am, its a front I put on for the sake of survival.
The day I found someone right, is the time I take down this front that I put on. Or do I need to take it down first, before someone right will appear?

Damsel in distress.

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