Losing interest

I ended 2009 in a busy mode. 2010 hasn't been much better. Despite the CNY festive period, I did not feel 'festive' at all.

The impossible workload in office is piling up. I stepped into office daily at 8.15am and I'm leaving office 12 hours and more later. Projects deadline and exams are coming yet again. What's new? Honestly, my life just repeats all these in a cycle. I'm pretty lifeless now. So much so that these days.... I find myself talking less to the people around me. Or people around me are slowly losing interest in me and do not want to hear me speak anymore. They just kept on talking about themselves. Well, I have always been a good listener. At the same time, I am finding increasingly more difficult to lead a conversation and be able to enjoy myself. I knew the questions to start to prompt people to start talking about themselves, and thats about it. I don't know how to lead the conversation back to me.

Someone once told me, I am tough to crack because I am so good at making other people talk except for myself. That person, who claims to be a mind reader, said so because he couldn't read me.

I guess I have nothing to say, because its true.

Flowers from Mr Mysterious

I figured out who is Mr Mysterious. Even though I wanted to thank him for being so sweet, I reckon its better not to. I just wonder if Mr Mysterious would be resourceful enough to find out if I quit my current workplace one fine day.

Nevetheless, the flowers brightened up my day as well as the office. Thanking him from the bottom of my heart would be good enough.

Too much good food

The weekend that just passed was super unrested for me. I had weddings to attend on both Saturday and Sunday. Few hundred bucks poorer and few pounds heavier. I didn't know that my cousin dated her husband for 12 years already! Admiration for this couple to have stamina for such a long courtship.The other wedding was a poly friend of mine. I just discovered that we had so many common friends, the theory of 6 degrees of separation was playing out right in front of my eyes.

It was my company's annual CNY lunch today. Its good food once again, 3 days non-stop! Something that I found disturbing -- they served shark's fins for all 3 functions. This fish is dying people... (sorry is that even considered a fish?) Although they bite.... they keep the nature's foodchain in check.

So friends, if you are planning your wedding dinner, could you please take the shark's fins out? Save the animal.

Toxic friends?

I remember I used to have this book called "How to deal with people you can't stand" but its nowhere to be found now. I think I gave it away. I started a kind act of giving lately, more about that later.

So lately I have been lamenting about energy drainers in my life. I thought alot about this and kept thinking if I am the negative person instead who starts to think negatively about other people and judge them by my own views. I reflected and reflected. And my conclusion is... we are going through different stages of life and that we have different priorities now. I talked to a friend lately and she told me about her own personal experiences. She sees people in 2 general 'categories'. 智者 aka the wise and 愚者 aka the fool. She recognises these 2 types of people in her workplace and tries to avoid 'the fool' . They gossip alot, criticise other people and grumble too much. These group of people has no purpose in life, hence they indulge in destructive activities to fill their empty souls. The wise is the opposite of them of course. Sometimes, I do join in such 'gossip sessions' because I succumb to peer pressure and don't want to be left out. I guess I have to stop that and pull myself out of it.

I read an online article lately and could relate very well to it -- 6 types of toxic friends and how you can deal with them.

Time to find new friends.

The people who drains energy away from you

Have you ever felt mentally drained after talking to someone? I do.

These type of people only talks about themselves, are only interested in themselves and at times, really rude. Because they take everything from you, but never give back in return. I label these people as 'energy drainers'.

Where are my mentors in life? I want to surround my life with people that can influence me positively. I feel so low hanging around with these energy drainers. :(