*knock knock*

Opportunities are knocking on my door. Something that I'm doing must be right and I have been able to attract the right kind of people into my life.
I know I have the attitude, so now I'm questioning if I have that aptitude for it. I always remember that one must always step out of comfort zone in order to see changes. Whether the outcome is good or bad, stepping out is the 1st step.

Killing me softly

Today was the last submission of projects for this semester. My whole mind was on it for the past weeks and what a sigh of relief now that its over. The classes for this semester will end next week so that we'll have a month to prepare for exams. That means I will have time on Wednesday evenings to attend toastmaster meetings! I desperately need to go back to clock my 'airtime' before my speaking skills get rusty again. Toastmaster mates, you hear me, I'll be back soon.

Today, my classmate commented that I look ultimately tired. Sad.... all the symptoms of stress showed up. I need to do some happy things.

Cycling fever

Yesterday went cycling from East Coast Park to Changi Beach. This is the 2nd time i'm trying out this route, except that this round, it was a continuous ride, with 3 5-minutes break in between. It is a real good workout... but the sun was so scorching hot that I'm suffering from a slight sunburn now.

I definitely want to try cycling the whole Park Connector Network the next time.

Falling slowly

Its been sometime since my heart flutters for someone, I can even feel air beneath my steps. His smiles just melts my heart away...

I am so hopelessly smitten, gotta snap out of it.

How to shift the sleeping cycle?

My biggest problem now, lacking of sleep and unhealthy sleeping habits. How do people wake up by 5 am? Because they sleep early. Mr T said that he lose weight by willing himself to do it, that's powerful. Surely I can will myself to wake up at 5? Damn it.... i need to change my lifestyle!!!

Immune system down

What is the worst feeling ever? Throat starts to get inflame, ulcer, feverish, dizzy spells... amidst all these, I had to wake up from bed to study for my school test tonight, and to carry on with the project assignment so that I can show the draft to lecturer tonight. While I thought I am getting better, my nose starts to get runny.... I only get a miserable 1 day MC. If only the H1N1 viral is still in the rampage stage, I may just get 5-days MC for the symptoms I'm showing.

Decluttering

Once in a while, I feel like detoxing. Getting rid of toxins in my body, as well as my mind. The body toxins gotta wait till I have the time to be home alone for a couple of days, cos the toilet has to be within walking distance. Its the toxins in my head that I want to rid of. Certain things in life are just not that 'healthy', such as, watching dramas about the perfect love that doesn't exist in real life, playing too much FB games that does not value add, and doing things that harms the health.

I guess I find the urgent need to declutter these days because I feel suffocated. No, work is not getting me down. I manage my workload well these days, I am still busy but coping well. The annoying things that makes me feel suffocating is my family. My Dad is a smoker. He used to smoke in corridoors, but he has went from bad to worse by smoking in his room now. The house has lingering cigarette smell, all thanks to him. If I get lung cancer, its probably his fault. I don't understand why my Mum is able to tolerate such shit from this irresponsible father! I don't want to argue with him again, because both our voices are loud enough to tear the house down. I chose to ignore him completely. I chose to treat him as a transparent being. My communication with him will stop, because I have tried all ways, calm, angry, sarcasm, logic, reasoning, begging and crying even... but he will never change. I can now understand why books on relationships always teaches us that its impossible to change someone, you have to accept the other party for who he is, including all his flaws. My mum did it, she accepted my Dad and his flaws. But I wonder if she is truly happy.

A friend has been feeling really down lately because of a marriage that is on the verge of breaking down. She is not pulling her socks up to get on with life. Instead, she is living each day aimlessly, like a walking dead. Another friend's wedding plan was suddenly called off, for reasons that I am not sure of till today. The groom-to-be initiated it, so my girlfriend is the upset one. Another friend is married, but the married life seems boring because the husband is more interested in computer games than the real woman in front of him, called his wife. I have more examples of unhappy couples around me, and it is scary to think of it. Of course, there are exceptions. And thanks to these good examples around me, it gives me hope that finding the right person is still possible.

But what are the odds? I wonder...

TGIF? not for me...

Everyone starts to get excited when they know its Friday, and they like to thank God for that... i wonder what has Friday got to do with God? No offence to believers of God, cos I just don't understand how this term is being coined. There is indeed a reason to be happy about when you know you don't have to work for the next 2 days. But to me, Friday is the day I feel most drained because working through Monday to Friday, Friday is like the day when my phone battery life is left with the last bar and the phone will just go flat anytime.

Question for the day :

Do you believe in 'eat, drink and be merry for tomorow we die'? Or 'drawing out the blueprint of the future'?

A sign of stress?

The migraine started from bad to worse, since Monday. It's a sign that I am too stressed up? I have no idea... all I know is, I have been sleeping alot today, I hope I'm able to fall back to sleep later.

Someone told me, I am too busy. I know I am.... I also know I'm pretty bad at managing my time, and learning to say NO. I need to have some fun, to break away from doing the 'too serious' stuffs...

I just want to have some time to watch meaningless television shows, some leisure reading, and perhaps rotting by the beach...

My experience as an Emcee

In every experience, bad or good, there is bound to be something that you can learn from it. That is the attitude that I carried towards the event today.

I'll use a few words to sum up my feelings -- exhilaration, frustration, heart-attacks but great sense of achievement. I won't say that the whole event was executed in the best fashion, but all in all, it was an enriching experience. A simple few words may not be able to fully describe how I felt.

So what did I learn from this?
To be honest, organising an event in this small scale is not as easy as it seems. Alot of hard work has been put in by the various committee members. Like how Ben commented, 台上一分钟，台下十年功. To translate it literally, it means a minute on stage equates to 10 years off the stage. I fully agree. Whatever will go wrong, has gone wrong. But that does not mean that the situation screwed up, there were merely hiccups along the way, which in my opinion, is normal. The imperfections of the event served as precious lessons. One has to learn from the mistakes in order to grow. I learned that an emcee has to be adaptable, because constant changes are being made and we need to adjust quick enough, to know what to say and what not to say on stage. Impromptu speaking is definitely one skill that I need to hone. An emcee needs to multi-task as we try to coordinate between various parties, communicating with organising chairperson, photographer, videographer, timer, guest speaker etc because the emcee is the linking point. Different parties gave instructions of various versions. When there is so much confusion, you just have to exercise your judgement.
Does it sound like the whole event is a flop? Of course not! I personally feel that it was a great success, in fact, it was better than last year! It brought together members of the public, toastmasters and businessmen, its a great way for people to network. I'm also happy to find a good number of teenagers amongst the audience, public speaking skills definitely deserve more attention than just academic abilities.

The committee has a dream of making this a Nation-wide event next year. Will this be a dream come true or remain as a dream? We'll have to wait and see...

Till then, I look forward to more of such opportunities.

It's not that funny at all

I just came home from a movie, it was supposed to be funny, but it wasn't.

I'm sorry to say this, but Adam Sandler is really not that funny in this movie. Maybe my expectations were hyped up by the movie title 'Funny People'. There were moments that were hilarious, but mostly, I kept thinking to myself... 'its too slaptick... or its too American'. Asians might not be able to relate to those jokes, so fellow Asians, skip this movie.

I am kind of disappointed, after months of not watching any movies, I had to catch a lousy one after such a long hiatus.

Tomorrow, 12 people would try to be 'Funny' on stage, and the co-emcee and I would need to attempt to be humourous as well. I can be funny in front of my friends, but its a different story in front of strangers.

May the jokes work tomorrow... lame as it may be.

Single woes

They say the pasture is always greener on the other side. When I made the decision to be single, I was happy because the relationship was getting no where. Life being single is great, no denies about that. At the same time, I have to admit that I do feel lonely at times. The loneliness crept it at times when I am most busy, contradicting? I don't feel I'm ready to commit into a relationship yet, but honestly, I don't know what is this unknow fear I'm feeling. I kept having this mindset that I need to have a little career achievement or financial breakthrough before I start dating. I don't know how or why I place such limits on myself? Perhaps my values on wanting to be self-reliant and independent is inherent. To tell the truth, deep down, I am still a girl who yearns for the warmth and protection of a man. At the same time, I want to have some balance, to be able to live independently.

I am not that alpha female that people think I am, its a front I put on for the sake of survival.
The day I found someone right, is the time I take down this front that I put on. Or do I need to take it down first, before someone right will appear?

Damsel in distress.