Rusty

Did my first general evaluation at Punggol TMC today. It proves to me no matter how prepared I was, the nerves would get to me and cause me to lost my train of thoughts and start babbling nonsense. Pretty much crashed and burnt. Even though I hear lots of encouraging feedback, I felt somewhat irritated by my standard.

I need more practise in doing evaluation.

So I am trying to figure out.... how the hell I can manage my twice a week night classes, once a week gakkai meeting and still find time to do my school projects, study, spend time with friends and my dog, and have some more time to go back to toastmasters for 're-education' and still be able to breathe...

I realised, doing club visits might be the way to go for me, since classes timing clashes with chapter meetings on Wednesdays. Am I placing too much burden on my shoulders?
Honestly, NO. If I don't push myself hard while I'm young and abled, then when should I do it?

到底何时能了事？

最讨厌拖泥带水。。。不请不楚。。。搞不懂状况。。。
难道我就是那么急性子吗？

I just need you to be a gentleman for one last time... then we can move on.
The damage is done, just let me have time to heal it properly. Otherwise, my new chapter would never be able to open.

The wedding celebrations

It was a hectic day, and coupled with the erratic weather, it makes the task of being the sister of my good friend's wedding an even more tiring one.

But, I did enjoy myself.

We spoke about the 'prophecy' that we made many years back, that S would be the first to get married amongst the 4 of us. The prophecy came true. And if we count the years we've known each other, this is the 13th year counting and the friendship still stand strong. When i witnessed the exchange of wedding vows, I was teary. It was tears of joy.

It wasn't the most perfect wedding celebrations, but it still held significance because its another milestone for S & M. At the end of the celebrations, it doesn't matter what hiccups and mistakes were made, because this would mark the beginning of MARRIAGE. Wedding is only a single-day event, but marriage is a life-time of commitments.

I sincerely wish the best for them, a lifetime of happiness.

A change

Tomorrow would mark the official 1st day of my transfer to a new department.
Colleagues have been asking about my feelings.
Well... I really count my blessings because I take it as a learning opportunity. And if I could prove myself in this new job transfer.... then it could be all for a good change.

忙碌

虽然很想早点上床睡觉，但是还有稿子没写好。向动笔，但是脑袋不灵活，提不起劲。写英文稿轻而易举，华语稿就得下功夫。
最近天天10点以后才到家，都没精神带Joy到楼下散布，有点忽略了它。但是一到家就可以抱一下它，跟它玩一会儿，就觉得一天下来再累，也会很开心。
明天的toastmaster meeting，我会担任language evaluator，希望会有突破。

Toastmastering enthusiasm

I'm happy to be attending toastmasters events and meetings this whole of April. But sadly, it has to come to an end soon. Come May, lessons would resume and I'll have to be the studious and nerdy student once again. Of course, studies take precedence and I would have to miss the chapter meetings. My term as the VPE is ending soon, its one hell of a ride, but one that is fruitful too.

While I take time off to put focus on my studies, I would come back stronger as a better speaker.

Why my life is so interesting?

I realise many of my friends are wondering why I am always so busy. And they all seem to think that my life is colourful.

What was my turning point?

Perhaps I need to thank my ex-boyfriend for that.

Years back, I broke up with my ex-bf. And it was the darkest moments of my life. I felt extremely lonely and empty. And I felt life is unfair to me. When I needed my friend's companionship, I realised it was difficult because I have drifted away from them. I spend too much time with my ex-bf that I drifted too far away from other things that mattered to me.

I met new guys and went dating. But none were sincere and were only interested in having flings. And that's when I realised, I should stop focusing on finding a partner. That phase of my life is like an awakening for me. That life is not just about finding that special someone.

So i started to ask myself, what matters to me?
My family, my friends, my career and a happy life.

I joined toastmasters for personal development, because I know the skills i learnt in a toastmasters environment would help me in the future.
I become more active with soka gakkai activities, because I know having a religion would make me a better person, and provide the spiritual help i need in times of difficulties.
I begin to treasure my friends more, because I know friends would be there for me when I need them.
I begin to make more new friends, because I know networking is essential in a dog-eat-dog's world.
I furthered my studies, because I know having paper qualifications would give me the platform to better opportunities in terms of my career.

And i realised, because of the actions I have taken, I am reaping the benefits slowly... but surely. And even though I have yet to find that special someone, I believe that someone will come across my life one day. And even if I would be single for the rest of my life, I should not complain. If I can't find someone right, I rather be single.

I want to stop becoming the typical girl who wants that perfect fairytale love story, because I know its impossible.

And I know having the right attitude towards life is equally important. Just like having the right attitude towards your work, it could only bring you benefits.

Need to equip myself

I need more general knowledge, i need to be better-equipped and more well-inform. I hope its not too late to start reading now.

Arrgh... read read read.

Putting yourself at the right place

I receive this in my email and thought it to be very meaningful, so good things must share.

Moral of the story :

Skills, knowledge, abilities and experience are only useful if you are at the right place!

Where are you now?

Smooth roads never makes good drivers
Smooth seas never makes good sailors
Clear skies never makes good pilots

Problem and hassle-free life never makes a strong person
Be strong enough to accept the challenges of life
Don't ask life, 'why me'?
Instead, say 'try me!'

If you have been going through some tough times, I hope this message has 'enlightened' you.

Are we the forgetable generation?

We know there are lots of classic music in the 70s,80s and perhaps 90s... music that are evergreen, that we can keep playing and not get sick of, music that everyone in the same generation would recognise immediately.
Songs like :
上海滩，吻别，Careless Whispers, Don't Want to Miss a Thing etc...

But how come I cannot think of such classic in the 00s?

What kind of reputation have we build for ourselves? Someone told me, we are the instant-noodle generation. I can't help but to agree.
Surely there would be some talented musician with classics-in-the-making?

Are we too caught-up with improving our quality of life that we forget how to have leisure time?

YEAH~!!!!!

In a damn good mood now, simply because I'm finally DONE with the exams. Results? Can't be bothered with it for now, because it will only be release in June.

Meanwhile, I have got lots of other things to finish before my classes resume in May. Life is busy, but I'm living it to the fullest everyday. At least, if I die tomorrow, there won't be any regrets.

P/s : If you intend to watch the movie "Knowing" by Nicholas Cage, forget it, such an anti-climax show.

Save me from myself - Christina Aguilera

It's not so easy loving me
It gets so complicated
All the things you gotta be
Everything's changing
But you're the truth
I'm amazed by all your patience
Everything I put you through

when I'm about to fall
Somehow you're always waiting with
Your open arms to catch me
You're gonna save me from myself
From myself, yes
You're gonna save me from myself

My love is tainted by your touch
Well some guys have shown me aces
But you've got that royal flush
I know it's crazy everyday
Well tomorrow may be shaky
But you never turn away

Don't ask me why I'm crying
'Cause when I start to crumble
You know how to keep me smiling
You always save me from myself
From myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself

I know it's hard, it's hard
But you've broken all my walls
You've been my strength, so strong
And don't ask me why I love you

It's obvious your tenderness
Is what I need to make me
A better woman to myself
To myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself

I'm excited!

I went for an interview as a part-time/freelance trainer. Honestly, I send out the CV not expecting any replies, but it did! And surprise surprise, I am shortlisted after the interview!

This could be a great platform for me to gain the experience that I need to have. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hope all goes well for me.

Never ever look back

Whether its the right choice or not, I must never ever look back.
好马不吃回头草！
Even if I might regret my decision later, I would bear the consequence.

The 36 Stratagems

Boss at work often referred to the 36 stratagems when dealing with office politics, and even though I have the chinese book with me, I can't make heads or tails with the profound language. I guess I should just return it, and stop pretending that I can decipher the book.Until one day, when my Chinese language can arrive at such standards, I will not attempt to read that again.

Meanwhile, I just have to finish reading the Econs textbook.

hate hate hate

I am so going to die with the impending exams.... I hate financial accounting, save me!

exams blues

I am so gonna sing my lungs out at the KTV after my exams!
Get ready kakis!